don’t mind me

I had a strange experience last night. I spent the night at the gym before I ate dinner with my father and spent a couple hours reading and writing. Around 11 when I went to sleep my mind felt unbelievably clear. It had been a full day but it had not been stressful. I sweated, I studied and wrote. I did not consume any drugs or alcohol. So when I made the decision to go to bed early I felt it was a correct one considering I had been productive that day and had school the next morning. I fell asleep at eleven but then I woke up an hour later and my mind was racing. There was a variety of random thoughts going through my head, from out of no where they came. It felt like I had three minds thinking all at the same time. All racing to some sort of conclusion but stumbling over each other on the way to the finish line. Sleep was no longer an option even though my body was exhausted. Where had this jumbled up mess come from? It felt like I should have never slept in the first place because my mind still had all this rearranging to do. The book I was reading that night ‘The Valkyries’ bye Paulo Coelho. (Great author by the way, he writes ‘The Alchemist’ on of my favorite books). One of the lessons I had read about that night was the “second mind”. The second mind is whats going on in the back of your head. What you think about when you do not even proactively try to or maybe even you do not want to. It could be a song stuck in your head or a person that you’re in love with or a person you want to forget. It could be the thoughts of your responsibilities or an upcoming event the you are excited about. The book clarifies the fact that you have two minds functioning at the same time. You’ve all felt it. The thought you can’t get out of your head even though you try to forget. So why did my second mind decide to become intertwined with my proactive mind. All I wanted to think about was sleep but my second mind wouldn’t allow me. Only now I think of another lesson that was taught in the book which was to embrace your second mind and it will bring clarity to your thought. Even though I had just read the lesson all I could think about was “Fuck why cant I fall asleep”. I should have embraced. But I did not. And I ended up tossing and turning with no direction for my mind and no clarity in my thought.
The book says that the second mind is a barrier to a state of deeper thought. If you want contact with something ethereal and bigger then yourself than getting past the second mind is a necessity. The book speaks about God and a higher power when entering this deeper state of thought. But even if you do not have a God that you embrace, simple meditation can be beneficial to your way of life. “The second mind was there, barring the entrance, with its repetitive ideas, its unimportant problems, its melodies, its financial problems, its unresolved passions.” Everyone has their respective issues and stresses. When you embrace them and meditate over them your mind will become tired of them. It will be easier to let them go and realize that these are unimportant problems when it comes to the big picture of your life. What is there once you get past the more materialistic problems in life? Can you learn the language of your heart or look deeper into your soul then you originally thought? There is something to be said about the state in which you are in once you past this ‘second mind’ barrier. I do not know what it is yet. But, I learned a simple lesson last night and in retrospection this morning which is to embrace your second mind. It will make it easier for you to not let the stupid little problems bother you as much.
-Nico

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