twenty something

Sober October has come to an end tonight with a shot of patron chased with grapefruit juice. I toasted to the things that i have learned through my experience. It really was easy to be honest there were times when my self control was tested but it was easy. I just didn’t want to taste disappointment in myself. The past few days I have felt very clear like I haven’t in a long time. It was quite enjoyable to know that my body was cleansed from the alcohol. Now as I have had a few sips of patron i’m feelin right in the zone and I remember why I liked to drink so much. The release of inhibitions when you’re drinking is incomparable to anything else I have experienced this month. I mean I have a little bit of confidence enough to dance in the club by myself under no influence except for the beat. Ordering waters from the bartender has never been more fun to be honest. Just tearing up the dance floor, that no one is on, then walking straight to the bar “yo let me get a water”. This feeling of elation may seem novel and nothing special but I like the shit so fuck you.
But honestly it felt good not drinking too and being able to say no. It feels as people in my current generation which i classify as the 20-30 year olds are big partiers. It seems to be an integral part of life. Drinking is the cool thing to do. There has been many times when I have felt obligated to drink more than I actually wanted to. So against my better judgement I used to get blacked the fuck out drunk when I wasn’t even planning on having a sip of the juice. I don’t regret it. That shit was probably the funnest times i’ve ever had. But why is there this obligation for us to drink our faces off and do drugs and stay up until the sun comes up. Why is it necessary to have beer for breakfast and subsequently remain inebriated for an entire day. I stress to you readers how I remain entirely unhypocritical by saying this because I thoroughly enjoy all of these things. I am merely posing the question. What is this infatuation with partying and going out? Has it always been this way? I was pretty happy this month when I wasn’t drinking. I read like four fuckin books and I hit the gym like everyday. I mean it was cool but I felt like it was all just an ends to the mean of getting drunk as shit. But I noticed a lot during my sobriety, I had a lot of meaningful conversations and made a lot of memories that are forever memorable. I spent money on a concert and was able to remember it and I am willing to admit that it was exceptionally mediocre but that is another conversation. I grew mentally and improved physically and have reaped the benefits so far. But now I am on vacation and that calls for a couple drinks bruh.

One thought on “twenty something

  1. It’s always been that way – partying and drinking and going out are a rite of passage for 20 somethings. We did the same thing 20+ years at and I’m sure the generation before mine did so too. (Ever hear of Woodstock?) Good job on a sober month and resisting the pressure.

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