I want to be him

He had pain just like everyone else on earth.  Even though it wasn’t tangible and mostly self sustained it was still there.  Something that’s not noticeable but is still there.  Like stars in Los Angeles.  His life wasn’t full of negativity and he wasn’t struggling to put food on his plate.  Well not struggling too much.  His job was secure and his family loved him and he reciprocated that love even more so.  He kept a close circle of friends, only the ones which were loyal as there were few.  Even though he held a deep sorrow for the loved ones he had lost he knew that it  was a part of life and that he would see them again in the heavens.  Faith was never out of question.  He was humorous and often laughed with those around him.  His smile was bright and visible through a crowd.  He had a wild enthusiasm which always shone through.  He always tried to lighten the mood in the soberest of moments with a joke or a bubbling personality.  The fear was reserved.  It was all put on himself by himself.  He was annoyed by others lack of ambition or creativity.  He knew that each person was as unique as a snowflake with a mind full of endless possibilities.  But many were wasted on bullshit.  The rarity of the mind seems to have lost out to TV and social media and becoming drowned in a society that doesn’t love you.  But he loved you.  He knew what you could do even if you didn’t.  He wanted you to challenge him, he wanted you to start talking about something ethereal and mysterious.  He wanted you to school him on an idea or something he didn’t know about.  In this is where his pain lied.  He wanted to be that person who knew about the world.  He wanted to know about culture and wine and politics.  He wanted to know about books and fashion and food.  When people asked him about finance and travel and sports he wanted to tell you.  The pain that he felt was that he wasn’t living up to his potential.  He felt that his fears of failure outweighed his ambitions.  He knew that the human mind was beautiful and he didn’t want to waste his on shallow things.  He searched for people to challenge him

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