Please, if you know me, don’t read this
A romantic is someone who has an idealized perspective of love. Someone that thinks love to be this tangible thing that appears when two people connect with each other. Two people who compliment each other perfectly. Everyone, or most of us, seem to be looking for that one person. That person who makes up for what we lack. The person who carries all the ideals and values that we want a mate to have. Some of us are vain and look for an attractive mate. Some of us look for intelligence. Some of us are looking for anyone to fill that void in your chest. Say that you find someone. Someone that has the qualities that you’re looking for. They’re almost perfect. You two fall in love and the flowers bloom as you walk past them. The sun shines on your face whenever you walk outside. You’re floating on a cloud. Then out of nowhere someone better comes along. Someone who has all the qualities you like and then some. Then you discover someone who has qualities that you didn’t even know you liked until they came along. Imagine this happening to you over and over again. You would be treating love like a pack of gum. You would be handing out a piece to anyone that came along and smiled at you the right way. What happens when you run out of gum? You buy a new pack and chew on your sorrows.
If you believe in evolution or even if you kind of think it’s possible. You must agree that humans have evolved to the point where we no longer need to look for a mate based on the primal need to propagate the species. We can be pragmatic, almost selfish in choosing a partner now a days. Complimentary to that fact is that we now have access to hundreds of thousands of people. Compared to the old days when you only had 4-5 options. Let’s see there’s the girl that you work with. The cute girl that works at the grocery store. Your cute neighbor who always seems to be looking at you and that’s it(I only said girl but it was the same for men and women alike). Back then it was easier to find love and make it stay because there was slim pickings as far as partners. I’m not going to go into why it is a different ball game today, because you know why.
So what am I getting at?
Besides this cliche conversation that I always have with girls on the first date. What is there to be learned about the modern romance? One easy takeaway is, as we evolve as humans so has our relationship with love evolved. Don’t think of love and romance as something that has to occur between two people. Love is something that should flow from the deepest part of you out into the world. Even in solitude one should be able to feel love and passion in themselves. Love shouldn’t be something that is given arbitrarily to someone else. Love is an antiquated term that used to be something that two people attained when they were together. I’m talking about new love. New love is found in the mystery of a person you just met. New love is in their flaws. New love burns at the end of the cigarette they gave you. New love is that feeling in your stomach when they don’t text back. New love is the sound of the wind that blows over you as you walk alone in the night. New love is in the ink that flows onto this paper. New love is that poem in the book they let you borrow. New love is in the oyster that you eat that reminds you of a different time. New love is in the oil that fills the tiny crevices in your hand as you massage her back. New love is at the bottom of the whiskey bottle. New love is the moon staring back at you. Love should no longer be perceived as this grandiose idea. New love is in the little things that you don’t even think about. Things that you can’t lose because they will always be yours. They are in anything that you do with passion. The little things that make life beautiful, either in solitude or with someone. Ask yourself, are you in love?